Tuesday, June 10, 2008

A Job? or an Exam?

For several days now, no weeks, i haven't been myself. I have been a lazy slouch ever since after my 18th birthday and well i haven't been active and haven't been a blessing to my family.

Honestly speaking, i don't like who i am right now. I am not walking my talk. I just hate it when i do that. I've been thinking too much lately and not being able to act much...

I wanted to do a lot of things to the point that i am not doing anything anymore! I'm hopeless... I can't do anything... Only God can help and fix my laziness dilemma..

I was really wondering what is up with me... Then after watching several inspirational movies and my debut vcd... I realized that I am missing something.. Something important to me... I'm missing my social life. I'm missing school. I miss studying. I miss meeting new friends. I miss challenges...

I want to be back in school, i think i don't want to be in a company.

I know that i would have vacation until october, so i asked my parents if i could work somewhere... and now that they finally found a company, i'm feeling nervous about it... I know it'll help me big time, but it'll eat up my time and well, i'm not sure if i'm ready to work. I'm still a teen, and i want to study.

This circumstance, made me think of my friends who work and doesn't go to school. At first i was like "How i wish i was in their shoes" i mean earning money and all; but i realized that they're missing a lot and it's very hard on them...

I never thought how they would feel if i didn't even went through it. I'm thankful that i did go through it, but then again I am still pressured...

I don't know what is really up with me, but yeah, i can't do anything anymore, only God can put me back on the right track... All i can do now is to kneel and pray, and wait for God's answer...

A job or an exam? I would gladly take an exam with friends, than a job without fun... BUt hey i am open to having a part-time job, i mean i can also meet (older) friends there and well i can have experience. :D so i want to have a part time job too! I'm just scared...

BUt i also want to go to school with students having the same age as i do... but that seems impossible now, I have a different lifestyle and well, i have to be happy on what i have and create excitement and difference on what i have now, even if its hard or it means giving up a lot of things... :)

0 comments:

 
design by suckmylolly.com