Wednesday, December 30, 2009

100th Entry

Tomorrow.

I wonder what it shall bring.
Happiness, Pain or No changes?
I really wonder what's instored.

Tomorrow.
Such a simple word,
Yet can always surprise us.
Good or bad, what does it bring?

Tomorrow.
Should i fear it?
Or should I look forward to it?
Excitement for sure is in.

Tomorrow.
All I can say is that,
Today will produce,
What tomorrow would be.

Tomorrow.
Should I really worry about it?
Or should I leave it in the hands,
Of the one we call Today?

Tomorrow. Today.
Which should we focus on.
The present or the future?
Weight it, choice is a must.

Tomorrow. Today.
What is Tomorrow,
When Today is neglected.
Today is much important?

Today.
I must take one step at a time.
Not leaning so much into Tomorrow,
Yet not lagging too much in Today.
Both must be balanced as i see.

Today.
Such a simple word,
Just like Tomorrow,
Yet gives a different emotion.

Today.
Such present it is from God,
That should be appreciated,
Not Tomorrow but Today :)

One thing is for sure.
Today I am enjoying,
And Tomorrow is exciting,
Life is a journey for you and me :)

So this New Year we face,
Let your Todays be filled with joy,
And your Tomorrows with excitement.
Enjoy life to the fullest, as God designed it to be.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

:)

I will Grow up :)


There's a kid inside of us,
that could never be forgotten,
a treasure meant for keeping,
and hidden for a certain time.

A kid inside all of us,
That tells us to enjoy life,
To take rest when tired,
To live like there's no tomorrow.

There's a kid inside you and me,
Who never stopped telling us,
That we need to love and care for others,
As much as we need to be loved and cared for.

A kid jumping inside of us,
Reminding us that life is a blast,
WHen we focus on the simple things,
Rather than the complicated ones.

There's a kid inside our hearts,
Reminding us of our first Love,
Our first love whom died for us,
Who would never ever leave us.

A kid crying inside of us,
Wishing that we be forever young,
and appreciate life God has given us,
That was meant for us to enjoy.

There's a kid inside all of us,
That would never ever fade,
but could rust and be broken,
And be hidden in deep darkness.

A kid inside all of us,
That shouldn't be forgotten,
but remembered as always,
Even if we've all grown up.

There's a kid inside all of us,
That keeps us smiling,
that keeps us laughing,
that keeps us from crying too hard.

A kid inside all of us,
Reminding us all,
That in the eyes of God,
We are still a kid forever, forever His. :)


Thursday, December 24, 2009

Mask it All

All I ever wanted was to give joy,

Joy for this holiday we celebrate.
To visit a sick friend is what I want,
But another force doesn't want me to.

I am just so sad,
That this Christmas all i bring is tears,
All i bring is perfect imperfection.
What more could I ever offer.

This Christmas is my saddest so far.
I don't want others to feel it for sure.
So let me bottle up myself this time,
Being open ain't just my thing.

I go to extremes I know I do.
How I wish i have a medicine of cure,
A doctor who could examine my heart,
and teach it to balance as I should.

Why is it so difficult to be me?
How am I suppose to live?
I am always lost and misunderstood.
It's just time to mask it all once more.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Whispers

Singing my heart out,

One Sunday morning,
amongst the crowd,
I saw you and I smiled.

I wonder if you noticed me,
my eyes met yours,
and right there on I whispered,
a simple prayer of chance.

CH.
God listen to my plead,
Give us another chance to meet,
Nothing less, Nothing More,
All I want is another chance.

I don't know how many angels,
delivered this whispher,
but God heard it for sure,
For I was given this chance.

We met not only with eyes,
but our hearts intertwined,
I found a friend in him,
and I wanted to keep it there.

CH.
God listen to my plead,
Give us another chance to meet,
Nothing less, Nothing More,
All I want is another chance.

I found a lot of chances,
because of my simple whispers,
Whispers that turned into music,
music of prayers in perfect melody.

And it all began
with a simple whisper,
whisper of prayers,
prayers of chances,
chances turned into fate.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Not The Right Season

My heart is in a weird cycle,
I like you now, then not later.
I think it's because I really like you!
Told ya it was a weird cycle.

You are someone I really like,
The outer core of who you are,
Haven't really seen the inner part,
That I am not even sure if you'd reveal.

I just love being with you,
I am always happy to see you.
I enjoy every bit of your company.
I can be myself when you are around.

But then, somewhere deep inside,
I just feel that there is something wrong.
Liking someone ain't bad at all,
but developing emotions is something else.

I think I am liking your company too much,
that I always want you to be around.
It's just not right, we're just friends,
nothing more nothing less.

I mean there's also nothing wrong,
with having such feelings for you.
But then this is just ain't my season,
For that kind of a thing.

This season is for me to reach my dreams,
I am not even sure if you're the one for me,
I just got to fight this emotions,
to keep the friendship you have offered.

I don't want to go to extremes.
I want you stay and not leave.
But for that I must discipline my heart.
It ain't easy but it's worth it all.

I sound like a little desperate kid,
But then I am an emotional thing.
I was made this way, God's way.
I was made to love, to care, to be loved.

It's time to say goodbye to this thing,
this thing i call emotional roller coasters.
Something they call love or whatever.
This ain't just the right season for it. :)

True Success

True Success,

I found today where it lies,
Where it could be found,
where it could be attained.

True success I've found,
Not in my skills or gifts,
Not in my bank account or savings,
Not in how hard I worked with it.

True Success is easily spotted,
But is usually ignored and rejected.
It is challenging and pride killing.
Something hard to accept.

True success is no mystery,
It is in the hands of our God.
How to attain it is in His laws.
True success is found with conditions.

True success will reach dreams,
True success will bless relationships,
True success will pour financial blessings,
True success will create real confidence.

True success is found in His Laws.
This is the only source of true success,
Want to know how to attain it?
Read Ephesians 6: 1-3

It's proven and tested,
Wait for my life testimony too,
and someday I will prove this true.
It's a challenge I would surely face.
To reach the dreams God has given me. :)




Saturday, December 12, 2009

To be a friend

I really like you so much,

but I think it won't be long.
I know that you are not for me,
but what if I am wrong?

I want to be there for you always,
but do you even need me?
Am I forcing myself into you,
Or am i just plain being a friend?

Everything was well,
Until you somewhat changed.
Did I do something wrong?
Or am I just thinking way too much?

I missed having fun with you,
and not seeing you has been weird.
It's as if we are friends,
but at the same time we are not.

We never had the chance,
To really know each other enough.
Or is this enough,
And i just couldn't accept that fact?

Do I really like you this much?
But what if you don't feel the same?
Is it really about liking you,
or filling this longing in my heart?

Am i being selfish again,
or has love always been like this?
Human love i couldn't understand.
Why does it have to be so hard.

I want to be the best friend for you,
But how could I be one,
When I need you more than you do.
I don't like what I am saying no more.

I think I really like you,
and I don't think it's healthy.
Our friendship might come to an end,
with these crazy emotions I feel.

I think it's time to let go of myself,
and be a real friend that I should be.
Letting go of my feelings for you,
And focusing on the friendship you give. :)



Thursday, November 19, 2009

Counting the days

The bells are ringing,
Homemade cookies baked,
Red and green cards everywhere.
The spirit of Christmas is here.

Christmas is here once again,
Knocking at our doors,
With songs of carols,
Christmas music everywhere.

But why can't i feel it again?
I didn't feel it last year,
Now it's here once more.
Just like the year before.

Busy again before December came,
Been like this three years in a row.
I miss the Christmas spirit in me,
I want it back but don't know how.

I miss counting the days,
Playing Christmas music in full blast.
Wrapping home made gifts,
Writing Christmas letters.

I miss being excited!
I miss the thrill of the months of -er.
I miss decorating any rooms I am in,
I miss christmas fun parties.

I miss Christmas cookies,
I miss writing gift lists.
I miss my spirit...
My spirit of Christmas.

I've been looking for it for long,
It's been three straight years now,
And i can't seem to have it back.
Christmas is an ordinary day for me now.

An ordinary day, or holiday...
Does it even matter?
When I lost the spirit of Christmas.
I lost it... I need it back...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

No Title

God I know you're there,
I know that you look after me,
With every move i make,
Wether be it big or small.

God You know my worries,
you know that i trust you,
but do i really trust you enough?
Is doubt really that deceiving?

God You know that deep within,
I have full faith in your Word,
But then again doubt went in,
Asking if it was really your Word.

God you know that I love you,
But sometimes i think I've sinned too much,
Yeah, Forgiveness is always there,
But i don't want to hurt someone i love.

God You know my needs,
You know what I need right now,
You know what could calm me,
You know where I am going.

God there's so much doubt in me,
that i want to go crazy already.
I cried to you several times,
I know my tears matched with yours.

God I want to trust you,
Could you please renew my heart?
I want to keep my faith strong,
Strong enough that doubt couldn't creep in.

God I realized that I really am nothing,
Without you I can never live.
I don't know what's up with me.
Maybe all I just want to say is that...

God I need you

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Reaching my Dreams for yours



I have a dream

And that is for you to reach your dream

Confusing I am to you right now,

But that's the truth, it is my dream.


I dream for you to reach your dream,

and ignite the passion in your heart,

I know you couldn't do it alone,

For I myself couldn't do it alone as well.


I dream for you to never loose hope,

That in every dream is a future unseen.

A future we may never know for sure,

But would surely change history I know.


Each of us has a dream of our own,

Some are unpleasant but most are good.

Each dream needs guidance for sure,

And that is my dream to guide you to yours.


I want to reach you as far as I could,

As far as reaching to your home.

I want to encourage you in every way,

That you may see the importance of your dream.


All dreams have a purpose of their own,

It is in your hands if you'll use it for good or not.

This is my calling this is my dream,

To help you reach your dream for good.


Please pray for me I plead,

I want to reach you as soon as i can,

I know it seems impossible for now,

But nothing is impossible through my God.


Even when everybody says I can't.

I will choose to say "I can!"

Coz Nobody could step on this dream i have,

Unless I allow them to crush this hope in me.


I know I can reach you wherever you are,

It's just a matter of perseverance and faith.

Nobody said it would be an easy task,

But that's the thrill of reaching a dream!


So just wait for me my friend,

I will help you ignite that passion in you.

Just keep on holding and never let go,

Together we will make your dreams come true!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Is it Deep Enough?

I like you.

I don't really know how deep that is,
But all I know is I like being around you.
I just like it, I can't explain why.

I've been thinking a lot,
Why do I even like you so much?
I don't know how deep that is,
Is it just a friend or more than that?

There were days that i didn't care so much,
But then the question still hunts me so far.
Why do I like you so much?
I can't even answer that question right now.

I like you but i can't go deeper than that,
I can't say I love you, coz I just don't.
I like you is the perfect phrase.
Not a lover not even a crush.

Yes you are special to me,
But does speciality fall to love immediately?
I don't really know how to answer that.
I like you. Is that special enough?

A lot has been running through my mind,
Will you stay for long as my friend,
Even if I find my special someone in my life,
Or would you leave just like the others did?

You're special and I like you,
I don't want to loose you,
But I don't want to love you neither.
Am I being unfair, or just normal?

I believe you are matured enough,
but then again that is my prayer.
Mature enough to stay as friends,
Coz I'm afraid to loose you as well.

Maybe I should just stop thinking,
And enjoy this friendship you've given.
But then again, I can't help it at times,
I'm just afraid of loosing you from my sight.

But then... there's nothing to be afraid of,
Coz I like you and that's all there is.
Or am I just confused deep inside,
Not knowing "I Like You" is deep enough?


Saturday, September 12, 2009

Behind the Poise

She drops her purse,
Picks it up in great poise,
Smiles to the people around,
Walks like a princess on a street.

She is always seen to be polite,
Demure and gentle in every way.
Speaks with great gracefulness,
That no men could not resist.

She is very pure and serene,
For this she is found to be weak,
Found to be fragile deep within,
Seen as if she could break anytime.

But not everyone can see,
What is really deep inside of her,
Beneath her smooth and frail front,
She is hiding something big.

She is a warrior deep within,
No matter how demure she can be,
No matter how fragile she can look,
No matter how unbelievable it can be.

She is a warrior in the heart,
No other can take that off of her,
She is stronger than she thinks,
That soceity can't always accept.

She is a warrior in disguise,
That no man could really understand.
A princess and a warrior in one,
That God created in perfect deisgn.

A princess that takes his breath away,
A warrior that keeps him secured.
A princess and a warrior by heart,
That can be seen in every woman around.

In every princess is a warrior inside,
Who fights with great courage,
Paired up with great beauty and faith,
That no other could really defeat.

A princess and a warrior in one,
That's how God created us,
Women in the making,
That is sure taking breaths away.

Friday, August 28, 2009

The Two

My heart is crushed. I am caught in between.

No I am not talking about love triangles or such,
It's much more important than those stuff.
I am actually caught in between the two.

Who are the two? They're men to be honest.
Two of the most important people in my life;
Well that's how much i value them as of now.
They're the two whom i trust and inspired me a ton.

The Two are actually best of friends,
They'd do everything together with joy,
Not to mention that they're like real siblings.
The Two has a unique kind of friendship for sure.

But that was before, way back from before.
It hurts so much to say the word "before",
If you just knew The Two and see them day by day?
I know for sure you'd feel so hurt and sad for sure.

I am just a friend to them.
But I am very much affected by their separation.
I asked myself why do i feel this way,
When it shouldn't be my concern anyways.

It's because, they're both important to me,
They're a huge part of my life in this town,
They were the first few friends I've had when i was new,
And they were the ones who inspired me to move on.

And now seeing them separated like this?
MY heart is crushed to its tad bits.
I could never do anything to glue them back.
The Two is gone and it hurts so much.

I want to cry, I want to brawl,
I want to shout this pain that i caught.
Why do i even bother worry about it?
Coz honestly I am caught in between The Two.

We were together somewhere awhile ago.
A group of friends and The Two was with me.
I couldn't help the fact that i want to be with both,
But the Two just couldn't be together as before.

I was caught in between, I hopped from one arm to another,
Trying to be happy and being together with The Two.
But i just can't help it, it's hard to be in between The Two.
Both are important as the other, but I cannot have them both.

I can't help the fact but ask.
"Why did you guys separate? can't you reconcile?"
I want to shout at them, tell them how important they are.
But i believe no matter what i say or do, could never recover the past.

Both sides are wrong, but why is forgiveness out of the scene?
They inspired me a lot when they were The Two.
But now all i can see are pains and hurts that i carry within.
Why do they have to separate... it pricks my heart so much.

The Two are still my friends,
But I can't have them together as before.
It's a sad truth that i hate the most.
I hope it won't last forever as they thought.

I can still be with them,
They give me more attention unlike before,
But I'd rather have them give me less attention,
And return The Two just like before.

I want to cry. But the tears won't fall off.
For deep within I'm happy to see The Two,
Even if a wall is stuck in between The Two..
...

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Mirror... Mirror on the wall.

I looked at the mirror today,
Looking for pimples i could erase,
Taking off the blemishes off my skin,
Frowning at the imperfection of my face.

Why did i even bother looking?
When all I could feel is ugliness.
But then, I really do wonder...
Why can't I help look at the mirror?

I think...Maybe, just maybe...
It's because I was made this way.
I was created to be beautiful.
Yeah, I think that's the real reason.

Beauty. How is it really defined?
Some say, "Beauty is expensive ",
Some say "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder",
Some even say that beauty cannot be defined.

So what does beauty really mean?
Let's go back from the beginning,
Way back to the Garden of Eden,
From the first woman who ever lived.

Eve.
She was described as beautiful.
She was the finishing touches of creation.
She was created to produce beauty.

That is what beauty really means,
Let's go straight to the point.
How is beauty really defined?
Simple. Beauty is womanhood.

Everything about a woman,
is simply just beautiful.
From the way she walks,
to the way she talks.

From the way she dresses,
to the way she washes,
From the way she smiles,
to the way she cries.

From the way she touches,
to the way she conceives.
From the way she cooks,
to the way she loves.

If you're a woman, then you are beautiful,
no matter what the mirror says to you,
it could never be as accurate as your heart.
In every core of our heart is a woman that is captivating.

So the next time you look at the mirror,
Smile and see the beauty in you,
It can be your eyes, your smile, your nose,
Or even your lips, or your brows.

In every woman, there is great beauty within.
So when the mirror talks to you again,
Smile and just say,
"I am beautiful, I was created to be beautiful."

Monday, August 24, 2009

First Love

I've liked a guy for six years. He was cool and all that, but he was just a friend. I even wondered why I liked him so much all these years, when I don't even know him that well. I guess this is what you call a "crush" just seeing the mere outside and liking it at that point only. I realized lately that this guy I've liked since I was in grade school, was already gone from my heart, my standards went higher as time passed.


Now I see why it is so easy for me to like someone now, how vulnerable my heart really is; coz right now it's kind of empty and it's not that loyal to any human being at all. Anybody could pass by my heart but it takes some more will for someone to open its door. At times I do feel lonely, I feel like I want to talk to someone, go eat with someone, have lunch with someone. I tried it with my closest friends, but still the longing was there. It was different.

I guess this really happens when my brain is inactive. What i mean is, I am not doing anything productive much. I hope soon this loneliness would fade, coz I know it's just a gush of the wind in my life. It won't stay forever for my life goes on to an adventure. I have God and that's what's keeping me from doing the greatest mistake of my life; To be in a relationship with the most selfish reasons.

I know someone is there for me. He's still in an adventure with God like me. I know for sure that I haven't met him yet. I don't know, but I've had dreams that i think gave out signs. I am just so happy that finally, i got to move on. Finally i grew up and realized that the guy i liked for six years is really just a friend to me, he is just like a brother. Yes, we do still talk, but then the awkwardness is gone and i love it.

Wow, so this is how it feels to not like someone at all. I have crushes, but it's a part of being a human, as humans we get attracted to the opposite gender almost everyday! That's how beautiful God's Creation is. :) My heart doesn't like anyone right now, no one is inside but my first love. Actually my first love would never ever leave my heart that's for sure.

I am so happy that my heart is so free now, it feels so different. I see people on a different perspective. I am loving life. Though i know that i must protect my heart for sure, coz there would be people who'd pass by my heart and try to knock its door by force. I am just so happy my first love is guarding my heart.

Who's my first love? Of course, the Artist who created me :)


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Someone I like...

Today I saw someone,

Whom I didn't expect to see.

Someone dear to my eyes,

Unsure if dear to my heart.


He is someone I've known,

Not far from before,

He's actually new to my life,

Which I treasure the most.


He is someone I love to see,

but when his presence is present,

I begin to act like a total crack.

Eating my words, cannot stay put.


Someone I don't really know,

Whom I like to observe,

To know much better,

Than what i already know.


He is unable to be reached,

He is someone who sees me,

Not more than a little girl,

Who needs a pat on the head.


He is quiet, simple and blank.

His words strikes into my heart,

He rarely speaks of foolish things,

And that's what I like most about him.


He is mysterious and calm,

He thinks deeper than the others,

He slowly processes wisdom at hand,

And ask questions I never thought of.


He sits in a certain position,

That makes him look smart and cool,

What's even more better than that is,

He acts this way ever since before.


He doesn't hide what he thinks,

He is straight and frank.

His words hurt at times,

But he speaks in complete truth


He is simple, tall and thin.

Too simple that makes me want,

To add more art on how he dress,

Something I'd do for love.


He thinks so deep that i want to sink,

To dive in his thoughts and clearly see,

What he is hiding deep within.

To see the condition of his heart.


I want to understand him more,

But I don't have the license to do so.

We are friends and that's how it is,

It doesn't hurt, for i do not expect.


There are no emotions attached,

To my pure admiration for him,

For i really haven't seen who he is,

For i can only see the outer mask.


I hope i can see him often,

and talk to him about life,

But i know deep within,

That if i do, I'd fall for him.


I am now not ready for such a thing,

For i know he is still growing and so am i.

He is very near and yet i feel so far.

I want to be a friend, but how can i be?


All I pray today,

Is that i would get to know him more,

and not fall for him the way i see.

I want to be dear to him as he is for me.


Pure friendship is what i deeply seek,

I wonder if he'd accept the offer i wish to give.

I cannot imagine my life with him,

but i really do want to know who he is.


I'm not sure, but i think,

I am deeply attracted to him,

for he is someone like me.

I don't know, I'm not sure.


Whatever it is, all i can say,

I think I like him,

But i could never ever say I love him.

I admire him and i think it'll stay there.


<3


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

STOP!

Busy there, busy here,

Busy now, Busy later.

It's a never ending cycle.

Too much need, to much work.


Where is the beauty of life,

It is never found no more,

when everything is just so fast,

Nothing is just like before.


Stop!

Take a bit of a moment,

to pause in this fast paced life,

You have to want to pause,

To see life in a better view.


It's worth the pause and miss out some,

that never pause and miss out all,

Life isn't all about busyness,

Take a pause and you'll see what i mean.


When you take a pause, to stop

You're giving yourself a precious gift,

the gift of life that was meant for you,

So don't waste it and open it.


Life isn't all about work,

Sometimes you just have to pause,

to see the beauty of what you've done.

Being busy ain't cool, so Stop! you need it the most.




Monday, August 3, 2009

You are the only one

There’s a void in my heart,
That only You could perfeclty fill.
A void sucking my joy out,
That only You could prefeclty shut.

There’s this void in my heart,
caused by the nature of sin,
A void i thought that could be filled,
By the gifts the world could give.

But then, with all the pain life could bring,
There you are ready to call my name.

You are all i need,
To fill this void in my heart,
rushing through my vains,
slowly shutting my life down.

YOu are the only cure,
from this emptinesss that i feel,
YOu are the perfect beat of my heart,
Please stay and never fade.

This void is as blank as the sky,
with no stars painted across,
It’s so dark and cold,
Alonne I feel in this midnight sky.

but then a star flashed across,
Gving me hope to believe,
that in the darkest cold midnight sky,
are small stars shining so bright.

In the midst of all the pan life could bring,
There you are ready to shine through my day.

YOu are all I need,
thats what i really do believe,
you are my source of life,
a heartbeat i need all the time.

You are the only one for me,
that could fill this void inside.
I’m sorry for not seeing you first,
When you’re the only cure. 


Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A declaration

This entry is a declaration.


From this day on, until the time God would call me to do this, I am giving up cosplaying!

<3

Sunday, July 5, 2009

My Little Friend

I have a little friend inside of me,

That calms my heart down,

When it is raging with madness,

That nobody else could calm down.


I have this little friend inside of me,

Who is very patient,

Who is willing to help me any time,

Especially when anger gives me a visit.


I have this little friend inside of me,

Who'd never stop offering himself,

Even if he's completely ignored

At times when my mouth shuts my ears.


I have this little friend inside of me,

that never leaves me alone,

At times when everybody else,

Could never understand how i really feel.


I have this little friend inside of me,

Who is always at war with my pride,

And never gives up no matter what

When anger stirs up my emotions.


I have this little friend inside of me,

Who's the key to healing my heart,

The bridge to connect broken hearts,

The gift that gives peace to my heart.


I have a little friend inside of me,

Whom is always ready to give me a helping hand,

When anger hits my heart.

He's the key to a peaceful life.


This little friend inside of me

is well, not so little after all.

Let me introduce his name to you,

That you may let him give you peace as well.


"Forgiveness"


Thursday, June 25, 2009

Packages

Packages sent from heaven,

Are daily gifts filled with love,

To have it in your hands,

Is a choice you must wisely make.


Packages sent from above,

Are commonly ignored by daily routines.

One must take a silent pause,

To see the beauty heaven has brought.


Packages sent from Heaven,

Are filled with memories of the past,

Filled with laughters and tears,

That heaven would never forget.


Packages sent form above,

Are sent by angels unseen by the eyes,

Covered by their mighty wings,

That no storm could delay.


Packages sent from heaven,

Are sent with a purpose in perfect timing,

Some are wrapped with prayers,

Some with deep anointed worship.


So have you received your package today?

Don't miss it or you'll drop your smile.

These packages are meant to be opened,

On the day it was sent from Heaven. :)

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Friends

It's funny how a simple smile,
from a dear old friend,
would make my heart skip a beat,
and never want to leave.

It's funny how a simple "Hi",
could make me want to stay,
and cancel all my plans,
and stay with that friend.

It's funny how a simple pat,
could make me want to smile,
that comes from the heart,
that would never seem to fade.

It's funny how my feet won't move,
Once i am beside that friend of mine.
How my thoughts would jump,
From one happy memory to another.

Unforgettable moments,
Flashing before my thoughts,
that makes me want to talk and laugh,
as if tomorrow won't come.

It's funny how a friend, or friends,
would lead me to happiness,
without them doing a thing or two.
Just being with them, is enough.

It's funny how this joy inside,
would never fade at all,
Even if we've said our farewells,
On this busy day.

These feelings rushed into my veins,
with just seeing a friend for a few minutes,
A few minutes that refreshed my mind,
and gave me joy like no other could give.

That's the gift of a friend.
Just being there, a smile or a pat,
could turn a hectic busy normal day,
Into an extraordinary joyful memory :)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

27

It's one of those days again.


Recently i met a prophet,
God showed me my future,
through this great prophet.
A bright future i have indeed.

Though, there is one thing,
that greatly caught my attention,
Something i never expected to hear,
but was said to me on that day.

27 he said... when i turn 27,
That's when i'll get married.
Yeah, i was breathless for a second,
Diverse thoughts flashed like thunder.

19 I am right now,
Happily single and loving life,
I wonder what life would be,
In between these years of mine.

I wonder, is he safe?
Is he waiting for me to come?
Or has he given up waiting for me?
Can he wait? can he?

Questions i could never answer,
Only God knows for sure.
I lay him all in God's hands,
to keep him safe and pure.

This is a long journey for me,
A journey of challenges,
of self-control,
of obedience.

I pray that i could manage,
to stand on my own feet,
until the day that we'll meet.
8 years isn't such a long time.

But the journey in between,
is an adventure worth to keep.
A journey of faith and obedience,
Of passion and fire for God.

Honestly, I can't wait,
Till the day that we would meet.
I wonder if he feels the same,
to a future that is unseen. :)


Friday, June 5, 2009

Notebook in Pink Ink

Prayers i wrote down,

On a simple notebook on my bed,

written in pink colored ink,

Simple yet covered with faith.


I wrote as if i was talking to God,

Wrote with joy and expectation,

With faith and excitement,

with love and fulfillment.


Never cared what the world would think,

it's written on my simple notebook,

that only my loving God could see,

a place where i could commune with Him.


I love my notebook in pink ink,

Coz there i could read my answered prayers,

Prayers written in faith, covered with love,

written in letters, embedded in the heart.


God answered every thing i wrote,

Answered not in years, but in days,

No, not even days, but hours.

God answers in love and perfect timing. 


I can see the greatness of God,

on my notebook in pink ink,

I saw His care and great love,

in the little details of my life.


God is real,

I can prove it for sure,

with my notebook in pink ink,

surely you'll be amazed.


Though i don't need to prove a thing,

coz it can happen in your life as well,

just have the child like faith,

forget about the world and focus on Him.


Try jolting down your thoughts,

maybe in blue black or green ink,

it doesn't really matter at all ,

as long as you have the faith.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Suprise Visit

A surprise visit anger gave my problems today,
Ruined my day and broke some hearts.
People i love, people who loves me,
tears and pain in their hearts i have brought.

A problem so small that anger worsen,
giving a tiny foothold to lies unwanted.
Caught off guard that pierce peaceful hearts,
Pierced by words not meant to be pronounced.

Words released sharper than the sword,
scars so deep, only God can heal.
This is what anger can do in a blink of an eye,
it is unwanted, unexpected, it comes in surprise.

How i wish i could turn back time,
to erase the words I've let go in a snap.
Words unthought about, that wounded hearts,
because of the surprise visit anger has done.

Problems really are blessings in disguise,
but if not handled well,
they're curses ready to charge.
More prepared than we could ever expect

Regret is written all over my soul.
but condemnation is never welcomed for sure.
Forgiveness is the only key,
to these broken hearts I've locked down.

Pride must be offered to God,
to release forgiveness to others and oneself.
Forgiveness is grace given from God,
it shouldn't be taken for granted at any time.

I've learn today,
that problems should be handled with care
or fragile, peaceful hearts,
would be at stake and broken into pieces

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Oceans Away

There's this one person i know

whom for sure has no care no more,
We are oceans away from each other,
Communication is as bad as the storms.

Great friendship we had before for sure.
He was my encourager, my inspiration.
He would always cheer me up,
Encourage me with my works.

Now that I'm miles and oceans away,
He shouldn't be my inspiration no more.
Yet i was wrong. I trust him in such a way,
That oceans and miles couldn't break.

Until now its him whom i show my work,
He doesn't reply at times,
But then i still show him with no regrets.
I trust him in away, i couldn't forget.

Our friendship i couldn't explain,
but i like it in a way, that it doesn't end.
He's still my friend, i couldn't care less.
I hope Heavens would send, my care for him.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Sweet

Today is a funny day.


I was thinking about how i would love giving gifts to my future one last night. I usually give gifts to strangers who has touched my life or gave me a deep insight. A lot sees me as weird when i do this, but what can i say? I love appreciating those who pass by my life.


Then i thought that someday when my prince would come, i'll bombard him with gifts. Then i imagined him giving me unique ones and little simple gifts too :)


Then the funniest thing happened today. While i was washing the dishes. I looked out my window still deep in thought, when a yellow unique bird flew at the wire outside my window. It's the kind of bird I don't usually see. No wait. It's the first time i saw a bird like that!XD


It was so yellow, it had a long beak it was small, it had black wings and some white stripes just below its eyes. It's so beautiful, the yellow color was so rich. Then as i smiled, i just felt God whisper, "I sent that for you, do you like it?"


.


.


.


.


.


My heart leaped. I was speechless.



There i was thinking what my future prince would give me, when God was already there bombarding me with small simple but rare gifts. God is my king, and it was so sweet of Him to have sent me that little bird. :) 


The best part was when he asked me if i liked it. His whisper was so sweet, it's as if it made my face muscles bring out a very huge smile.


It's one of those days were i could have ignored this little thing, but this time i didn't and i received His gift. :)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Passing by

Someone I met today.

He's simple, calm, and quiet.

Whenever i hear piano keys,

He's the perfect description.


Each key is a surprise,

Just like his personality,

So many mystery hidden within,

That's exciting to unlock.


A giggle he would present,

that makes me calm at distress,

He's so calm and prince-like,

that makes me smile at times.


My heart took a deep beat,

When he ate my sweets.

Simple it may be,

but who cares, I'm complete.


His works were the best,

He inspired me deep within.

Great beauty i saw,

Written all over his piece.


I know this is not love i feel,

It's an admiration i keep.

He's a good memory to keep,

that would surely make me flip.


So today i thank this mystery man,

for passing by my life today,

it was sure a bliss to have you here,

even if it was just for a day...:)


See you in heaven i know,

there i could love you,

Love you the way i love others,

with no malicious thoughts. :)


Till then, mystery man today,

I hope i see you again. 

Take care on your flight,

I pray for a blissful night.


You Took it All Away

I've drifted away from you long ago,

Never knew what really happened,

But ever since i felt so empty and scared.

Dark clouds of loneliness never left me.


Questions I asked of you what has happened,

I waited and waited, until the dark of dawn,

I finally stopped asking and stopped talking.

I stopped and ran to my friends for help.


My friends where always there,

I actually began ignoring you,

For i thought you were mad at me,

I call out but you don't answer me.


All was okay, until to my great surprise,

Little my little, my friends were fading away.

Even my security and comforts at home faded.

I was so alone again, I am deeply lost, confused.


I kept thinking, "Was it you who took them all away?"

But i believe you would never ever do that to me.

You are not a God who takes happiness away.

All i know is when You close a door, you open a gate.


Suddenly, i found the truth, You took them all away.

You were the one who took all my friends,

You were the one who took my comfort away.

You took it all away, my Lord, You took it away.


You took it away for a reason i didn't see before,

You wanted to take me into a deeper level with you,

That my faith will grow stronger than before.

You wanted to bring me up, not down.


You took them all away for me to see clearly,

That i should depend on you alone,

That despite all my emotions or feelings,

There is a strong foundation of faith in my life.


Now i understand why you were silent,

You were testing me and you knew i could do it.

Now i understand that you never left,

You are actually nearer now than before.


You took them all away that i may see you,

That in every season of my life, its you whom i seek,

That despite all the storms in my life, you are still God.

That  in everything i do, i will worship you.


You took them all away in my life,

I thank you, coz now all i have is you.

Let this passion burn for you,

For you are the reason why I am living today.



Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Shadows

Here I am at the feet of my Saviour,

Unable to see what is ahead,

Feeling despair and loneliness,

Lost at the path i once walked on.


Somehow my saviour stood before me,

Covering me in His shadows,

Feeling emotions i deeply dislike,

Dark, Depressing, Scary.


I thought my Saviour is walking away,

Long away from me for reasons i never knew.

I cried, I deeply longed for His voice,

He is near, but all is just so dark.


My soul was hungry as ever,

To fight or not to fight is at war,

Faith and Doubt is clashing,

But His Love reigned all of them.


Tears run down my cheeks,

Arrows pierce through my heart,

Anger and confusion crept into my mind,

Desperation reign all of me.


I never tried to look up,

for i was tired and lost,

Unable to find the answers,

to my never ending questions.


Where is He?

Why did He Leave me?

What did I do?

Does He love me?


I fought with my emotions,

Held a strong grip on my faith,

Fought the deep fear in my heart,

I looked up despite the darkness in my life.


As i looked up, i saw a light,

A light that showed great glory and splendor,

I stared at this bright majestic light,

searching the whole figure of this light.


As i scanned through the feet of my Saviour,

I didn't see His back, but rather His front.

HE wasn't walking away, HE was walking nearer.

So near, that His shadow reigned all over me.


He extended a hand and smiled at me,

No word was uttered between us,

But great love and concern i felt within,

The true love of a Saviour seen through His eyes.


As He held my hand, He has brought me to a new path,

A path I am so unfamiliar with,

Yet was filled with angels and great wonders.

I just new He has brought me to a new journey.


He has closed the path of the journey i once walked on,

Bringing me closer to this new level of intimacy.

A new level of hand in hand with my Saviour,

A more powerful and fearsome adventure.


No matter how fearsome this path maybe,

My Saviour will never let go of my hand,

We will walk all through out this road,

With complete Love and Passion for the Father...:)


4.14.09

Random Entry


"Hello Good Day" he says,

a simple word he utters,

that makes my heart flutter.

Amazing feeling isn't it?


The normal things around,

Seem magical when he's there.

Things ignored before,

is now seen in great awe.


In love I am, you say?

Not really, more on the search.

Deep in my heart, it longs,

Longs for a prince she never knew.


Someday i want to feel those emotions,

those fluttering tummy butterflies,

those perfect best days proclaimed,

those meaningful dinners.


But then... I do also know,

that when my heart searches,

my prince would never come.

This is one truth that i love. :)


I love it coz i love surprises.

How can surprises be a surprise,

if it's excitedly expected?

It's not a surprise but rather an expectation.


I want my prince to surprise me,

I don't want to expect him to be perfect.

I want to understand and know him,

i don't want to dictate whom i want him to be.


Someday i know he'd come,

and when that day comes,

He'd be reading this insight,

together with my other poems.


I write all of these from my heart,

to my future prince alone,

that he may know who i truly am,

behind every smile i present.


Senseless entry this is for sure,

but i just can't stop thinking about,

a prince whom i don't know for now.

Someday he'll come when i stop looking for him.


But for the meantime, i will write,

write until the time i get tired of it.

A future prince whom God will give me.

The best of all for sure i know...:)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Before..After

Haha God is so funny!

Awhile ago i was sad and in pain,
Then the next thing i know,
I'm so happy and super excited!

I may have lost my deep friendships,
but God made all my dreams come true.
I can't wait to work in Dreamworks!
For sure God has a plan in stored for me.

If i can't work with that group,
I know for sure God has a better plan..
My whole life is in His hands,
That surely makes my life a living dream!

AhHH! can't contain this joy inside!
and God made me realize i do have a friend.
She maybe far away,
But still she cares and never forgets...:)

I really really love my best friend,
She will forever be my best friend.
Joan, she's thee one and i can't wait,
to work with her in the future plans..:D



Past Hunting My Present

Pictures are meant to give good memories,

to give enjoyment and pleasure,
but as for now, mine is not the same as others,
Pictures for me now is hunting my present.

It hurts a lot, i don't know why it always happens.
Friends from before, i never had replacements for,
Now seeking for company that i could never claim.
It hurts more that they don't care much no more.

Now I'm in another place, far away from my home,
New friends come, but they are never enough.
Numerous number of new friends could never replace One,
One into which i whole-heartedly treasure that is buried.

One Phoebe, One Angela, One Trisha, One Jamie...
One Timothy, One Vini, One Rainer, One Nj...
They mean so much to me more than they could ever know,
Why is it so hard for me to let go?

Phoebe's Creative ideas, and make-up magics,
Her realistic and sweet frank advices.
Angela's the knee, playground tricycle rides,
Her gift of listening and cute side comments.

Trisha's punk princess sense of style,
Her in depth care and compassionate heart,
Jamie's quiet love and adventurous attitude,
Her surprising ideas and homemade gifts.

Timothy's straight english & slang tagalog,
His unreadable mind and kind heart,
Vini's happy bright smile and hugs,
His brotherly heart and understanding mind.

Rainer's funny comments and reactions,
His loyal friendship and home-y aura,
Nj's mystery mind and quiet moments,
His curiosity and love for the stars.

All of them could never seem to be wiped away.
In my dreams i long to be with them again,
But Heaven is the only place i could be with them,
In this lifetime, we may not meet again.

Even if i try so hard to come back,
They would never come back.
They have moved on with their separate lives,
And sadly, I haven't even a teensy bit.

Whatever i do, as far as a i run away from the pain,
it chases me back to these pictures that i see.
I try and tell myself not to look,
but how could I, when they're a treasure inside.

Help me find a way to heal this pain of mine,
but one thing anyone could never ever do,
is replace these people in my heart.
I haven't found anyone better than them.

Right now, tears i want to shed,
just looking at their pictures...
I know they don't care much no more,
that's the mystery why i still care much.

I am hunted by my past,
Not because of unresolved problems,
but because of  great happiness,
that could not be replaced.

Bring me to the past,
and i will never let it go,
But i am now in the present,
that i must move on.

10 billion people in this world,
Can never replace these One's in my heart,
It's still a question how i could ever go on,
Lost in this place i now call home...

Or is it really home?
Past, Present... I live in both,
I stand between the two...
But what is it called in between?






Thursday, March 26, 2009

Cars

I am really not fond of cars,
yes they're very fast,
but i just don't get why men,
loves it so so much.

I see their excitement,
the thrill in their eyes,
their enthusiasm as they speak,
the passion, the dream, the longing.

I can't see in any way,
how i could love cars,
as much as men does...
Its just impossible.


But then...


What if my future prince,
would love cars so much,
so much to the point that,
he wants to talk about it, with me?

How can i relate, if i don't like it at all,
how can i listen if i find it boring,
how can i appreciate it when i see it as metal,
how can i support what he likes?

I don't like it.
but not liking it, is a choice..
wait...
Hey! Then i can choose to like it!

Now i can clearly see,
I may not like it now,
for i have no reason to like it at all,
not even a tiny bit.

But someday, if my prince,
would love it so much,
i think its the most reasonable reason,
to like cars as well.

I would choose to like cars,
coz i love my prince so much,
that i would love what he loves as well,
To see the car not as a mere metal no more.

This is the beauty of loving someone,
I get to love something i ignored before,
For love indeed is a choice,
and choices doesn't depend on feelings.

Now i may not appreciate cars,
but when my prince comes and loves it,
i would surely learn how to love it,
as i learned how to love him...:)



Beauty

Right now i feel something different.
Something way far from the truth,
Something i feel once in awhile,
that really ruins who I am for this time.

Believe it or not, i feel this way.
It's as if it's a part of who I am,
that it was in my genes and blood,
and that, It's what i have as a woman.

I feel like I'm the ugliest person in the world,
Even if i I believe in the truth that I am not.
It's this little acnes popping out of my face,
that causes me to be depressed in some way.

It's also about my weight, my figure,
clothes that fit before, is not fitting no more,
It's as if people are staring at me,
when really they're not.

It's about this personality of mine,
How rotten i feel deep inside,
this imperfection of mine that kills me slowly,
When in reality its actually building me up.

It's about this new hairstyle,
that makes people angry why i changed it,
that creates little weird rumors,
when in reality they're interested.

It's about this fashion i have,
that makes people think I'm too different,
and that I am taking the spotlight!
When in reality they don't even care what i wear.

It's about this words of mine,
that when i open my mouth,
it'll only hurt a lot of people,
when in reality a lot needs to hear my voice.

In the end, it's just all about the perspective!
Okay so i have acne, i'm chubby, i'm weird.
but hey, it's called insecurity and its part of life!
It's a part of who i am as a woman.

I know everyday, women face insecurity.
It's a tough emotion we have to face,
Everyday is a challenge to think positive,
Despite the imperfection of who we are.

So men please give grace to us,
When we rant, we just want to let it out,
We don't always need answers
Sometimes listening is enough.

But i do really know for sure,
what really matters is what's inside.
but i think as women, we want to be beautiful,
we were made that way.

So if we spend long hours in the bathroom,
or go to the gym almost everyday,
or place make up for almost an hour,
or even stay up late just to find the right attire,

Don't take it in as VANITY,
it's just a part of womanhood.
it's what we are made for,
to be and to stay beautiful...:)

Wondering why?
Ask God, read Genesis,
Think why God created a woman,
and why is she the last one made..:)

Let me give you a hint,
When an artist paints,
usually the last thing he does,
is the finishing touches to make it all perfect.

 
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