I got to stop.

Just read CCS Manga vol. 6...the ending. It's practically a love story.

I gotta stop reading these kind of stories. I got to grow up. I got to mature. I got to let go of this. I got to stop reading love stories. I just have to.

Or else i might get myself a boyfriend this year.

I got to stop. I got to stay focus. I got to stand up and stop thinking about such things. I HAVE to get the point. I have to stop. I have to focus on my passion.

My passion for the youth.

I got to stay single. I have to be an example. Being an example ain't easy. But i have to. I got to live diffrently the way others do. I got to live up the way i should. I have high standards i know. I got to live beyond normal. I have to be simple & different at the same time. 

I got to keep my promise.

My promise, my commitment. Not to fall in love until I'm finish college.

I got to keep it. I made a promise, i will not break it with God's help.

Being an Example.

Yesterday i went with my sisters and my nephew for a vaccine shot. I hate injections & I've feared it for YEARS. I was actually amazed at myself that i wasn't scared( I believe God was with me at that time...^^) though when i got inside the clinic, my heart was pounding fast.

I tried to face my fears telling myself (Shi, you're eighteen! get a grip! be an example to your lil sis and nephew!) After that i relaxed for a moment knowing that i'd be last anyway.

NOT! bah! my nephew got scared and my older sis told me to go first! the horror... i never wanted to go first. Then she said "Come on be an example to the little ones, i need your help." Waaah. I was scared i tell ya. 

I sat on the clinic bed, not knowing how to react and made several faces to ease my fear. The doctor told me to not look at the injection. Man.... i saw it and it gave me HARD heart pumps...~_~

The moment the needle went pass my skin. It hurt. But it didn't hurt the way i thought it would. I said to myself 'whew...'. after some seconds the doctor started to push the needle, making the liquid go in my veins. Now, THAT HURT! ALOT! i bit my lip, forcing myself not to cry or scream coz my nephew and lil sis was watching me.

It hurt. It was painful. It was tough. But my world didn't end there.

God made me realize that life is like this. That needle is my problems. I think that once that problem goes into my life it'll hurt and crush me deeply to the point that i think it'll never pass away. But then that needle won't stay forever in my skin. It'll go out. It may hurt, but then the liquid(vaccine) that went in my body, will protect me from even painful diseases that could cause me to stay on a hospital bed.

Same as with my life. Any problem that goes in my life, maybe painful at first but deeply, it is a vaccine a wisdom that will help me and guide me to the right way in life. 

Being first, was tough. I had to feel the first 'OUCH' but then, it'll make it easier for the next ones to me.. because they saw that i could do it. My lil sis didn't even cry! haha i was so proud of her...

A golden nugget for today. "Being an example is not an easy task, but it'll make other people's lives a tad bit easier."