Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Haha God is so funny!

Awhile ago i was sad and in pain,
Then the next thing i know,
I'm so happy and super excited!

I may have lost my deep friendships,
but God made all my dreams come true.
I can't wait to work in Dreamworks!
For sure God has a plan in stored for me.

If i can't work with that group,
I know for sure God has a better plan..
My whole life is in His hands,
That surely makes my life a living dream!

AhHH! can't contain this joy inside!
and God made me realize i do have a friend.
She maybe far away,
But still she cares and never forgets...:)

I really really love my best friend,
She will forever be my best friend.
Joan, she's thee one and i can't wait,
to work with her in the future plans..:D

Past Hunting My Present

Pictures are meant to give good memories,

to give enjoyment and pleasure,
but as for now, mine is not the same as others,
Pictures for me now is hunting my present.

It hurts a lot, i don't know why it always happens.
Friends from before, i never had replacements for,
Now seeking for company that i could never claim.
It hurts more that they don't care much no more.

Now I'm in another place, far away from my home,
New friends come, but they are never enough.
Numerous number of new friends could never replace One,
One into which i whole-heartedly treasure that is buried.

One Phoebe, One Angela, One Trisha, One Jamie...
One Timothy, One Vini, One Rainer, One Nj...
They mean so much to me more than they could ever know,
Why is it so hard for me to let go?

Phoebe's Creative ideas, and make-up magics,
Her realistic and sweet frank advices.
Angela's the knee, playground tricycle rides,
Her gift of listening and cute side comments.

Trisha's punk princess sense of style,
Her in depth care and compassionate heart,
Jamie's quiet love and adventurous attitude,
Her surprising ideas and homemade gifts.

Timothy's straight english & slang tagalog,
His unreadable mind and kind heart,
Vini's happy bright smile and hugs,
His brotherly heart and understanding mind.

Rainer's funny comments and reactions,
His loyal friendship and home-y aura,
Nj's mystery mind and quiet moments,
His curiosity and love for the stars.

All of them could never seem to be wiped away.
In my dreams i long to be with them again,
But Heaven is the only place i could be with them,
In this lifetime, we may not meet again.

Even if i try so hard to come back,
They would never come back.
They have moved on with their separate lives,
And sadly, I haven't even a teensy bit.

Whatever i do, as far as a i run away from the pain,
it chases me back to these pictures that i see.
I try and tell myself not to look,
but how could I, when they're a treasure inside.

Help me find a way to heal this pain of mine,
but one thing anyone could never ever do,
is replace these people in my heart.
I haven't found anyone better than them.

Right now, tears i want to shed,
just looking at their pictures...
I know they don't care much no more,
that's the mystery why i still care much.

I am hunted by my past,
Not because of unresolved problems,
but because of  great happiness,
that could not be replaced.

Bring me to the past,
and i will never let it go,
But i am now in the present,
that i must move on.

10 billion people in this world,
Can never replace these One's in my heart,
It's still a question how i could ever go on,
Lost in this place i now call home...

Or is it really home?
Past, Present... I live in both,
I stand between the two...
But what is it called in between?

Thursday, March 26, 2009


I am really not fond of cars,
yes they're very fast,
but i just don't get why men,
loves it so so much.

I see their excitement,
the thrill in their eyes,
their enthusiasm as they speak,
the passion, the dream, the longing.

I can't see in any way,
how i could love cars,
as much as men does...
Its just impossible.

But then...

What if my future prince,
would love cars so much,
so much to the point that,
he wants to talk about it, with me?

How can i relate, if i don't like it at all,
how can i listen if i find it boring,
how can i appreciate it when i see it as metal,
how can i support what he likes?

I don't like it.
but not liking it, is a choice..
Hey! Then i can choose to like it!

Now i can clearly see,
I may not like it now,
for i have no reason to like it at all,
not even a tiny bit.

But someday, if my prince,
would love it so much,
i think its the most reasonable reason,
to like cars as well.

I would choose to like cars,
coz i love my prince so much,
that i would love what he loves as well,
To see the car not as a mere metal no more.

This is the beauty of loving someone,
I get to love something i ignored before,
For love indeed is a choice,
and choices doesn't depend on feelings.

Now i may not appreciate cars,
but when my prince comes and loves it,
i would surely learn how to love it,
as i learned how to love him...:)


Right now i feel something different.
Something way far from the truth,
Something i feel once in awhile,
that really ruins who I am for this time.

Believe it or not, i feel this way.
It's as if it's a part of who I am,
that it was in my genes and blood,
and that, It's what i have as a woman.

I feel like I'm the ugliest person in the world,
Even if i I believe in the truth that I am not.
It's this little acnes popping out of my face,
that causes me to be depressed in some way.

It's also about my weight, my figure,
clothes that fit before, is not fitting no more,
It's as if people are staring at me,
when really they're not.

It's about this personality of mine,
How rotten i feel deep inside,
this imperfection of mine that kills me slowly,
When in reality its actually building me up.

It's about this new hairstyle,
that makes people angry why i changed it,
that creates little weird rumors,
when in reality they're interested.

It's about this fashion i have,
that makes people think I'm too different,
and that I am taking the spotlight!
When in reality they don't even care what i wear.

It's about this words of mine,
that when i open my mouth,
it'll only hurt a lot of people,
when in reality a lot needs to hear my voice.

In the end, it's just all about the perspective!
Okay so i have acne, i'm chubby, i'm weird.
but hey, it's called insecurity and its part of life!
It's a part of who i am as a woman.

I know everyday, women face insecurity.
It's a tough emotion we have to face,
Everyday is a challenge to think positive,
Despite the imperfection of who we are.

So men please give grace to us,
When we rant, we just want to let it out,
We don't always need answers
Sometimes listening is enough.

But i do really know for sure,
what really matters is what's inside.
but i think as women, we want to be beautiful,
we were made that way.

So if we spend long hours in the bathroom,
or go to the gym almost everyday,
or place make up for almost an hour,
or even stay up late just to find the right attire,

Don't take it in as VANITY,
it's just a part of womanhood.
it's what we are made for,
to be and to stay beautiful...:)

Wondering why?
Ask God, read Genesis,
Think why God created a woman,
and why is she the last one made..:)

Let me give you a hint,
When an artist paints,
usually the last thing he does,
is the finishing touches to make it all perfect.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


Problems here and there,

Everyday interfering with my life,

A routine i never got to get used with,

Something i never expect but always comes.

Problems are hated by everyone,

It's the thing that turns our smiles upside down,

It's the thing that crushes our hearts into pieces,

It's the thing that causes so much tears.

Problems ruin my perfect day.

Problems bombards me with mixed emotions,

It pushes my brain to its limits,

It shakes my identity for a moment.

This is how problems are always seen.

It's the thing that ruins almost everything good.

It's this thing that pours out too many tears...

and ruins so many good relationships.

But then... are problems really that bad?

Are problems created just to make us suffer?

To make us drown in our endless tears?

Does problems kill us slowly?


No, it does not.

Problems is actually the very thing,

That keeps us going on with our lives.

It's the fuel that keeps us moving on.

It's a great gift from God,

that is always misunderstood.

and I am guilty myself.

Problems are challenges.

Challenges makes my life exciting,

it's the thing that keeps me active,

and not slacking on my daily routes.

Challenges are made by problems.

So now i could see,

that problems are opportunities,

to become a better and wiser person,

to become strong and independent.

But most of all, problems is a tool,

To keep me coming back to God.

Surely problems is not a curse,

but a gift if seen in the right perspective.

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