Friday, August 28, 2009

The Two

My heart is crushed. I am caught in between.

No I am not talking about love triangles or such,
It's much more important than those stuff.
I am actually caught in between the two.

Who are the two? They're men to be honest.
Two of the most important people in my life;
Well that's how much i value them as of now.
They're the two whom i trust and inspired me a ton.

The Two are actually best of friends,
They'd do everything together with joy,
Not to mention that they're like real siblings.
The Two has a unique kind of friendship for sure.

But that was before, way back from before.
It hurts so much to say the word "before",
If you just knew The Two and see them day by day?
I know for sure you'd feel so hurt and sad for sure.

I am just a friend to them.
But I am very much affected by their separation.
I asked myself why do i feel this way,
When it shouldn't be my concern anyways.

It's because, they're both important to me,
They're a huge part of my life in this town,
They were the first few friends I've had when i was new,
And they were the ones who inspired me to move on.

And now seeing them separated like this?
MY heart is crushed to its tad bits.
I could never do anything to glue them back.
The Two is gone and it hurts so much.

I want to cry, I want to brawl,
I want to shout this pain that i caught.
Why do i even bother worry about it?
Coz honestly I am caught in between The Two.

We were together somewhere awhile ago.
A group of friends and The Two was with me.
I couldn't help the fact that i want to be with both,
But the Two just couldn't be together as before.

I was caught in between, I hopped from one arm to another,
Trying to be happy and being together with The Two.
But i just can't help it, it's hard to be in between The Two.
Both are important as the other, but I cannot have them both.

I can't help the fact but ask.
"Why did you guys separate? can't you reconcile?"
I want to shout at them, tell them how important they are.
But i believe no matter what i say or do, could never recover the past.

Both sides are wrong, but why is forgiveness out of the scene?
They inspired me a lot when they were The Two.
But now all i can see are pains and hurts that i carry within.
Why do they have to separate... it pricks my heart so much.

The Two are still my friends,
But I can't have them together as before.
It's a sad truth that i hate the most.
I hope it won't last forever as they thought.

I can still be with them,
They give me more attention unlike before,
But I'd rather have them give me less attention,
And return The Two just like before.

I want to cry. But the tears won't fall off.
For deep within I'm happy to see The Two,
Even if a wall is stuck in between The Two..

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Mirror... Mirror on the wall.

I looked at the mirror today,
Looking for pimples i could erase,
Taking off the blemishes off my skin,
Frowning at the imperfection of my face.

Why did i even bother looking?
When all I could feel is ugliness.
But then, I really do wonder...
Why can't I help look at the mirror?

I think...Maybe, just maybe...
It's because I was made this way.
I was created to be beautiful.
Yeah, I think that's the real reason.

Beauty. How is it really defined?
Some say, "Beauty is expensive ",
Some say "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder",
Some even say that beauty cannot be defined.

So what does beauty really mean?
Let's go back from the beginning,
Way back to the Garden of Eden,
From the first woman who ever lived.

She was described as beautiful.
She was the finishing touches of creation.
She was created to produce beauty.

That is what beauty really means,
Let's go straight to the point.
How is beauty really defined?
Simple. Beauty is womanhood.

Everything about a woman,
is simply just beautiful.
From the way she walks,
to the way she talks.

From the way she dresses,
to the way she washes,
From the way she smiles,
to the way she cries.

From the way she touches,
to the way she conceives.
From the way she cooks,
to the way she loves.

If you're a woman, then you are beautiful,
no matter what the mirror says to you,
it could never be as accurate as your heart.
In every core of our heart is a woman that is captivating.

So the next time you look at the mirror,
Smile and see the beauty in you,
It can be your eyes, your smile, your nose,
Or even your lips, or your brows.

In every woman, there is great beauty within.
So when the mirror talks to you again,
Smile and just say,
"I am beautiful, I was created to be beautiful."

Monday, August 24, 2009

First Love

I've liked a guy for six years. He was cool and all that, but he was just a friend. I even wondered why I liked him so much all these years, when I don't even know him that well. I guess this is what you call a "crush" just seeing the mere outside and liking it at that point only. I realized lately that this guy I've liked since I was in grade school, was already gone from my heart, my standards went higher as time passed.

Now I see why it is so easy for me to like someone now, how vulnerable my heart really is; coz right now it's kind of empty and it's not that loyal to any human being at all. Anybody could pass by my heart but it takes some more will for someone to open its door. At times I do feel lonely, I feel like I want to talk to someone, go eat with someone, have lunch with someone. I tried it with my closest friends, but still the longing was there. It was different.

I guess this really happens when my brain is inactive. What i mean is, I am not doing anything productive much. I hope soon this loneliness would fade, coz I know it's just a gush of the wind in my life. It won't stay forever for my life goes on to an adventure. I have God and that's what's keeping me from doing the greatest mistake of my life; To be in a relationship with the most selfish reasons.

I know someone is there for me. He's still in an adventure with God like me. I know for sure that I haven't met him yet. I don't know, but I've had dreams that i think gave out signs. I am just so happy that finally, i got to move on. Finally i grew up and realized that the guy i liked for six years is really just a friend to me, he is just like a brother. Yes, we do still talk, but then the awkwardness is gone and i love it.

Wow, so this is how it feels to not like someone at all. I have crushes, but it's a part of being a human, as humans we get attracted to the opposite gender almost everyday! That's how beautiful God's Creation is. :) My heart doesn't like anyone right now, no one is inside but my first love. Actually my first love would never ever leave my heart that's for sure.

I am so happy that my heart is so free now, it feels so different. I see people on a different perspective. I am loving life. Though i know that i must protect my heart for sure, coz there would be people who'd pass by my heart and try to knock its door by force. I am just so happy my first love is guarding my heart.

Who's my first love? Of course, the Artist who created me :)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Someone I like...

Today I saw someone,

Whom I didn't expect to see.

Someone dear to my eyes,

Unsure if dear to my heart.

He is someone I've known,

Not far from before,

He's actually new to my life,

Which I treasure the most.

He is someone I love to see,

but when his presence is present,

I begin to act like a total crack.

Eating my words, cannot stay put.

Someone I don't really know,

Whom I like to observe,

To know much better,

Than what i already know.

He is unable to be reached,

He is someone who sees me,

Not more than a little girl,

Who needs a pat on the head.

He is quiet, simple and blank.

His words strikes into my heart,

He rarely speaks of foolish things,

And that's what I like most about him.

He is mysterious and calm,

He thinks deeper than the others,

He slowly processes wisdom at hand,

And ask questions I never thought of.

He sits in a certain position,

That makes him look smart and cool,

What's even more better than that is,

He acts this way ever since before.

He doesn't hide what he thinks,

He is straight and frank.

His words hurt at times,

But he speaks in complete truth

He is simple, tall and thin.

Too simple that makes me want,

To add more art on how he dress,

Something I'd do for love.

He thinks so deep that i want to sink,

To dive in his thoughts and clearly see,

What he is hiding deep within.

To see the condition of his heart.

I want to understand him more,

But I don't have the license to do so.

We are friends and that's how it is,

It doesn't hurt, for i do not expect.

There are no emotions attached,

To my pure admiration for him,

For i really haven't seen who he is,

For i can only see the outer mask.

I hope i can see him often,

and talk to him about life,

But i know deep within,

That if i do, I'd fall for him.

I am now not ready for such a thing,

For i know he is still growing and so am i.

He is very near and yet i feel so far.

I want to be a friend, but how can i be?

All I pray today,

Is that i would get to know him more,

and not fall for him the way i see.

I want to be dear to him as he is for me.

Pure friendship is what i deeply seek,

I wonder if he'd accept the offer i wish to give.

I cannot imagine my life with him,

but i really do want to know who he is.

I'm not sure, but i think,

I am deeply attracted to him,

for he is someone like me.

I don't know, I'm not sure.

Whatever it is, all i can say,

I think I like him,

But i could never ever say I love him.

I admire him and i think it'll stay there.


Wednesday, August 5, 2009


Busy there, busy here,

Busy now, Busy later.

It's a never ending cycle.

Too much need, to much work.

Where is the beauty of life,

It is never found no more,

when everything is just so fast,

Nothing is just like before.


Take a bit of a moment,

to pause in this fast paced life,

You have to want to pause,

To see life in a better view.

It's worth the pause and miss out some,

that never pause and miss out all,

Life isn't all about busyness,

Take a pause and you'll see what i mean.

When you take a pause, to stop

You're giving yourself a precious gift,

the gift of life that was meant for you,

So don't waste it and open it.

Life isn't all about work,

Sometimes you just have to pause,

to see the beauty of what you've done.

Being busy ain't cool, so Stop! you need it the most.

Monday, August 3, 2009

You are the only one

There’s a void in my heart,
That only You could perfeclty fill.
A void sucking my joy out,
That only You could prefeclty shut.

There’s this void in my heart,
caused by the nature of sin,
A void i thought that could be filled,
By the gifts the world could give.

But then, with all the pain life could bring,
There you are ready to call my name.

You are all i need,
To fill this void in my heart,
rushing through my vains,
slowly shutting my life down.

YOu are the only cure,
from this emptinesss that i feel,
YOu are the perfect beat of my heart,
Please stay and never fade.

This void is as blank as the sky,
with no stars painted across,
It’s so dark and cold,
Alonne I feel in this midnight sky.

but then a star flashed across,
Gving me hope to believe,
that in the darkest cold midnight sky,
are small stars shining so bright.

In the midst of all the pan life could bring,
There you are ready to shine through my day.

YOu are all I need,
thats what i really do believe,
you are my source of life,
a heartbeat i need all the time.

You are the only one for me,
that could fill this void inside.
I’m sorry for not seeing you first,
When you’re the only cure. 

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