Silent Words

i don't know what to say,

but right now all i can do is cry.

When you needed me the most,

i didn't get to be there.

Such pain you've gone thru,

and yet you thought of me.

I hate you for not telling me a thing,

and i hate myself for not being there.

i hate the fact that i have these rules,

i hate the fact that i didn't get to see,

How much pain you've gone thru,

Just because of some stupid rule.

I wanted to be there for you,

but i wasn't able to be.

You were right in front me,

and i couldn't do a thing.

you were right in front of me,

and i didn't get to see a thing,

i didn't get to see the marks,

that gave you so much pain.

All i could respond was thru tears,

i don't know what to say nor give,

how i wish i can heal your wounds,

or bring back time and give you a hug.

I hate the fact that i wasn't there for you,

i hate the fact that i didn't see a thing.

You've gone thru so much pain,

and no one was there to be with you.

I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry.

I want to say something,

but only tears came out of me.

My Love, My God

You watched me walk alone,
Never took Your eyes away from me,
You never left me as i walked,
Prepared to catch me if I fall.

My Love, My God.
You never left my side.
Even if I thought you did,
You actually never did.

My Love, My God.
Without you my soul is gone,
Without you my life is a wreck,
Without you I am nothing but dust.

My Love, My God.
I missed you so,
Please walk with me,
Side by side forever.

My Love, My God.
You are my first and my last,
Nothing can be compared,
To You in love.

My Love, My God.
Thank you for painting the stars,
For me to see that you care,
That you are watching over me.

My Love, My God.
Thank you for your smile,
That kept me going in life,
That kept me loved .

My Love, My God.
No one can ever take your place,
You belong in my heart alone,
No one else can be there but You.

My Love, My God.
Change my heart and stay inside,
My soul is thirsty for you,
and my body longs for you.

My Love, My God.
Stay inside me forever,
Till the day I see you face to face,
Please take control of my heart.

My Love, My God.
My emotions are all yours,
My thoughts are all yours,
My choices are all yours.

My Love, My God.
Thank you for taking me back,
To your loving arms,
To your wings of grace.

My Love, My God.
Thank you for loving me so. :)

God, I've changed.

God I've changed,

Can you still hear me?

I am not the one before,

I've grown up and squandered.

I've lost my faith in you,

And had endless doubts.

God I've changed,

Can you still hear me?

I'm not the same as before,

I don't sing from my heart,

I've lost my interest in you,

But my heart needs you so.

God I've changed,

Can you still hear me?

I don't do my prayers no more,

I've stopped writing letters for you,

I stopped giving my best,

I've come to the end of my road.

God I've changed,

Can you still hear me?

I pray and i pray,

But no answer i can hear,

I know i've brought pain,

Oh God please give me grace.

God I've changed,

Can you still hear me?

I'm not the girl you used to know,

I've lost my way,

I am not as innocent as before,

I am filled in filth and dirt.

God I've changed,

Can you still hear me?

I loved the world more than you,

MY heart is so thirsty oh God,

Can you still hear me dear God?

Can you see my tears from my heart?

God I've changed,

Can you still accept me?

Coz i just realized i can't live without you.

Little Things

Verse 1:

It's the little things that counts,

the silent hellos that you give,

the sweet smile that you flash,

the little thoughts that you share.

Chorus:

It's the little things that matter,

that make my life go wonder.

It's the little things that saves me,

from all these craziness around.

Verse 2:

Say my name out right,

it sure gives me a lift.

Look at me and smile,

I'll flash it back with a blush.

Chorus:

It's the little things that matter,

that make my life go wonder.

It's the little things that saves me,

from all these craziness around.

Bridge:

So please,

Don't ignore the little things,

That make you and I go smile

It's a treasure to keep,

that should be kept sweet.

Expressing Thru Art

Is there a way to express myself thru art?
Too many ideas for me to attain,
Don't know where to start or what to choose.
How can i express my chaotic thoughts?

I want to create beautiful arts,
but how could I possibly do,
when i don't know where to start?
I've got to have a major redo.

Art should be spontaneous,
It should be caught off handed!
It may apply to me and not to you,
Whatever it is, I want to express!

It's time to stop sorting out!
And start expressing what I feel.
Art is all about expressions.
Expressions know no law.

The Point

I came to the point into which I've accepted that I could never understand God's Ways. I might know it in His perfect timing or will never know about it till the day that i reconcile with Him :)

That's it.

I've had enough of this.

I know i'm different,

the way i think or express.

I've had enough of this.

Nobody could understand me,

except my family and God.

One or two friends maybe,

but that's it and it ends there.

I'm tired of explaining who I am,

tired of being different.

I've got to blend in and be silent,

and leave my thoughts somewhere else.

I've had enough pains of ignorance,

or misjudgment, of unacceptance.

I am closing my doors of openness,

And let my art express who I am.

Let me close who I am for a year,

All i can do now is listen and be silent.

Give a couple of advices if needed,

but if not, this one must shut up.

I am just so tired of who I am,

But i cannot destroy who I am.

Rather i will adjust and do what i can,

and let God do the rest and the best.

That's it.

It's the end of the rope.

I will keep my thoughts for myself.

It stays that way indefinitely.