Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Past Hunting My Present

Pictures are meant to give good memories,

to give enjoyment and pleasure,
but as for now, mine is not the same as others,
Pictures for me now is hunting my present.

It hurts a lot, i don't know why it always happens.
Friends from before, i never had replacements for,
Now seeking for company that i could never claim.
It hurts more that they don't care much no more.

Now I'm in another place, far away from my home,
New friends come, but they are never enough.
Numerous number of new friends could never replace One,
One into which i whole-heartedly treasure that is buried.

One Phoebe, One Angela, One Trisha, One Jamie...
One Timothy, One Vini, One Rainer, One Nj...
They mean so much to me more than they could ever know,
Why is it so hard for me to let go?

Phoebe's Creative ideas, and make-up magics,
Her realistic and sweet frank advices.
Angela's the knee, playground tricycle rides,
Her gift of listening and cute side comments.

Trisha's punk princess sense of style,
Her in depth care and compassionate heart,
Jamie's quiet love and adventurous attitude,
Her surprising ideas and homemade gifts.

Timothy's straight english & slang tagalog,
His unreadable mind and kind heart,
Vini's happy bright smile and hugs,
His brotherly heart and understanding mind.

Rainer's funny comments and reactions,
His loyal friendship and home-y aura,
Nj's mystery mind and quiet moments,
His curiosity and love for the stars.

All of them could never seem to be wiped away.
In my dreams i long to be with them again,
But Heaven is the only place i could be with them,
In this lifetime, we may not meet again.

Even if i try so hard to come back,
They would never come back.
They have moved on with their separate lives,
And sadly, I haven't even a teensy bit.

Whatever i do, as far as a i run away from the pain,
it chases me back to these pictures that i see.
I try and tell myself not to look,
but how could I, when they're a treasure inside.

Help me find a way to heal this pain of mine,
but one thing anyone could never ever do,
is replace these people in my heart.
I haven't found anyone better than them.

Right now, tears i want to shed,
just looking at their pictures...
I know they don't care much no more,
that's the mystery why i still care much.

I am hunted by my past,
Not because of unresolved problems,
but because of  great happiness,
that could not be replaced.

Bring me to the past,
and i will never let it go,
But i am now in the present,
that i must move on.

10 billion people in this world,
Can never replace these One's in my heart,
It's still a question how i could ever go on,
Lost in this place i now call home...

Or is it really home?
Past, Present... I live in both,
I stand between the two...
But what is it called in between?


Vahntotie said...

Aww.. I understand.

There really are times that when we reminisce supposedly happy times, it just so happens that we end up being sad 'coz there may be a lot of memories to cherish that we were once together with those people, now we can't even reach them anymore..

It hurts.. :(

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