Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Worst of Me

The worst of me has come out of today,

This is a sin that has always been a struggle,
For women like me, who feel insecure at times,
Insecurity that leads great pain to other people.

As James 3:5 says, The mouth is a small thing, 
but what enormous damage it can do.
I've stabbed somebody behind his back,
without him doing no harm to me at all.

It's like this mouth i cannot control,
loudly saying bad things behind his back,
not knowing that he was literally at my back.
I know he's now hurt and in great pain.

An apology is required, but pride is in the way.
I don't know how this day would end,
but surely I am at the verge of my tears,
Knowing what to do, but undecided how.

He smiles and shows that all is fine,
but i know he heard every bit of word i've uttered,
gossiping is a weakness of every woman,
It's something I must learn to destroy deep within.

Right now, my mouth wouldn't open,
I'm scared and deeply depressed,
Because i know i've hurt somebody close,
but worst of all, i know I've caused great pain to God.

Wanting to run to God for forgiveness and wisdom,
but shame and disappointment is written all over my soul,
Confused I am right now, distracted from everything else,
I know i must apologize, but for now i cannot.

My smile has faded for the day,
For I was the cause of a wounded heart,
Who meant no harm to me,
On this bright, supposed to be, happy day...


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